The Gayest Day of the Year in Rio de Janeiro

So, every Sunday I take my weekly walk on the beach in Copacabana, nothing usual. I stroll down Ave. Atlantica dodging little poodles and kids motoring around in miniature cars and bicycles; however, two Sundays ago I was met at the beach with "Ra ra u-la la, Ra ra u-la la, Ga ga..." blaring over (what's typically used during Caraval blocos) these monsterous sound trailers with people dancing atop in tight white jeans shirtless and men in drag. Normally, I see old men walking along with their saggy sungas (Brazilian version of a Speedo), but today that was replaced by young guys walking around with angle wings on their backs. This meant only one thing, the excessive dance music, topless men with sparkles, drag queens, butch women, and a rainbow of colors, it was only the GAYEST day of the year in Rio de Janeiro-Gay Pride, my friends!

Last year my friend (super cute gay guy) dragged me to the parade where I was shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of sweaty topless guys. Surprisingly enough, only men hit on me there. I was a little taken back by this, as it was a "gay pride" parade. Fortunately, my friend posed as my boyfriend the entire way repelling off the hordes of hormonal conquistadores. The girls that saw me gave me one look and ran the other direction. One even looked at me and turned to her friend and said "She's straight!" right in my face.

That leads me to a digression- how does one look straight? From all I could tell at the parade in Rio (I know some people aren't gonna like this, but oh well, here it goes anyway) a straight girl looks normal, by normal I mean isn't butched out, while a gay guy is harder to tell. All of the women I saw were wearing sports braws, cut off jean shorts, and many with ball caps demostrating their muffin top bellies. Call me traditional, but that's not sexy at all! If a woman were to like another woman, why would she go for one that looks like a guy? Why not just have a boyfriend? It's socially acceptable and easier. The men there were gorgeous for the most part, some outrageously flamboyant, but at least with nice bodies.

This year instead of being in the middle of the action I opted to be a passive observer from a kiosk a safe distance from the crowd (I'm American- I like my personal space). I would say that the parade this year was very tame in comparison to last year's giantic parade. The most excitement was when a drunk guy and one of the kiosk security guards got into a fist fight 6 feet from my table. All in all it was a very gay day in deed!